FRUIT OF LOVE

i lie awake, drenched in my sweat.

i shut my ears to drown out the screams..

and yet i hear that voice again,

its calling out to me or so it seems.

where did it begin, how did it end?

can life be just this misery?

how did i get myself till here...

this place where I'm no longer free.

i feel his hands reach for my hair,

pull me up and slam me against the door.

this time i scream, and then i see,

its not real.. it wont happen no more.

i hear the cry of my unborn child...

or is that my voice as i let go?

i try to sleep, but how can i?

when the pain burns right into my soul?

i loved this man, with all i had,

i loved him until the abuse.

what sort of love demands from you

to put up with being battered and bruised?

and so i left, and tried to heal,

almost did,so long as i forgot my child.

but once you've killed you never forget,

the price you pay for being mild.

and thus, today you see me strong,

my armor on, always on guard.

maybe now you will finally understand,

why my eyes are cold and hard.

how can you ask me to love again

when I'm shattered deep inside?

who can ever love a girl

who has so much to hide?

its not that i don believe in love,

i remember the blood, the pain.

don get me wrong-it's just that I'm scared

to be hurt once again.