TRAPPED WITHIN MY MIND

Laughter rings out loud,on that bright summer day,

We were basking on the grass... so careless, so gay.

The sun seeps in through canopies, forming brilliant streams of light,

I gaze into your eyes, everything will be alright.

The colors then grew richer, it took on deeper hues,

Those reefers were so good, it drove away the blues.

I looked up at the clouds-saw angels in the sky,

I looked within myself-saw wings-believed that i could fly!

But wait... The sounds-they are fading... it all just seems astray

What is this I'm looking at?

What is this... so grey.

The sounds have now returned, but the vision, it has changed.

Half-drunk bottles of liquor, have made us quite deranged!

We walk the streets in daylight, we stagger to be fair-

Singing songs so loud, it turns heads that look on with despair.

Nothing stops the ruccus, we dwell in our own worlds,

We laugh.. we sing.. we dance.. we hurl.

Fantasies governed us then, the wine never stopped its flow,

The chaos has a rhythm, and you tried to grab its glow.

That day was filled with madness, Youth was on our side,

Little did we know that Life would change the tide...

And again i wonder... Why does it all seem so far away?

What is this that I'm looking at?

What is this...? It's all so grey...

A lady visits me often, offering potions for better health,

She glides closer to me and injects me with stealth.

I smile away slowly, the questions seems to cease...

I drift away in slumber... my mind is at ease....

And there it is i see you-but this time , it seems to me

Like the colors aren't so rich anymore, not the way it used to be.

I look up at your angelic face, seeking love, seeking joy...

You turn to me, smile and say that a bong is just a toy.

Your eyes sparkle as you speak of chasing dragons-I could almost taste your thrill!

We enbark on a whole new journey-yet all i feel now is this bloody chill...

My eyes burst open, there's a scream-so far away.

Something about this place... its so grey...

I shut my eyes and start to count, hoping it will fade away.

Now you call out from behind me... I turn to see, you are holding out a tray.

In it you have my salvation, I smile and snort the snow..

Oh yes! It's getting clearer... Oh yes! I love the blow!

We dance the nights with vigour, we paint the city red.

We snort some more, laugh some more, fuck till we wreak the bed.

And though it all you have that look that tells me you want more...

Snort.Down.Smoke.Chase.Fuck till my body is sore...

I think that I'm lucky to have you, as i watch you drift into sleep,

Then i feel it again-that bloody chill-this feeling that gives me the creeps.

My eyes burst open. This time, the scream won't go away...

I look around me... Everything is grey...

The lady rushes back in...No wait...!! There is more than one! Who are these-

The needle pierces! The liquid rushes! So soothing...I'm relaxing...finally some peace!

I'm back in my haven, your arm wrapped around my waist.

Crystalline forms of entertainment lie before us, we have acquired a new taste.

My world exploded before me, the heat stimulating the rush,

A fragment is all that was needed, to turn my world colorful and lush.

But i know you too well my darling, you always want some more.

Conscience discarded,we delve deeper, do things we'd never done before!

Thats when you think of needles...I hesitate...you say it will be alright,

I wasn't sure about it, I know now, I should have put up a fight!

I know whats coming-its me-that bloody scream that won't go away

Yes... It's me, shrill and wailing as i remember-

I know why these walls are grey.

I repressed it for so long, I thought if i tried hard enough i would succeed.

But how could I? Your eyes. Your smile. Your touch... Its making my heart bleed!

I cant forget the day we met- It was the last day I was clean.

I won't forget the day you left-I can't forget-the ghastly corpse... I wish I'd never seen.

I remember now, my last words to you, I'd said,"I love you too!"

I remember now, waking up to your body beside me- cold and blue

My world shattered  my soul was gone and as i flipped, I heard the scream.

I reach for the knife...I cut myself... I was coming to you or so it seemed...

We were in on this together, so why do you get to leave me behind to stay?

I'm in this hell without you-clean...lost....hurting-the walls are all grey.